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[28 May 2008|09:40pm] |
So today we had the 20 week ultrasound - you know, the one that whips your family into a frenzied cry of, 'Call us as soon as you're done so we know if it's a boy or a girl!'.
Yeah. Somebody decided to sleep right through that big, ice cold glass of Coke that was supposed to get their legs uncrossed and moving. Somebody decided to curl up under the placenta for a big ol' catnap in an impossible position for the ultrasound technician to determine what the heck sort of flavor they were.
Somebody is so grounded for the next 20 weeks.
Really, people! And to make matters worse, the u/s technician curtly told us that if she saw something abnormal she wouldn't tell us, she'd tell the doctor, which brings no peace of mind at all. I'd be happier with 'we don't know if it's a boy or a girl, but it's healthy!', but instead I got 'I don't know what it is' and 'I can't tell you anything to reassure you', essentially.
So, instead of the day I've been looking forward to for the past 20 weeks, I ended up leaving the ultrasound office with tears in my eyes, having to call everyone and apologize for having no news.
Through this whole pregnancy I've been keeping my emotional distance in case something went wrong again. I haven't bought any baby things, haven't pinned down any names, haven't started the nursery...I was really looking forward to today, when I could have started enjoying this process. It would have seemed more real and exciting to be able to give this child a name, an identity, and begin planning for him/her in earnest.
In any case, they apparently needed more scans of the heart from better angles, so we go back in a few weeks. Hopefully we'll get a better result then.
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